Chapter 137: _ Plagued By A Girl
~Darien’s Point Of View~
Darien is not a man easily shaken. At least, that’s what the world thinks. To them, he’s the second son of the mighty Alpha of the Duskwind pack, the one with his mother’s sharp jawline and even sharper sense of responsibility, the one who can walk into any room and command respect just by folding his arms. To them, he’s a wall of discipline and dignity.
But behind the mask? Behind the mask, he’s a fool who can’t stop thinking about a girl. And yeah, it’s not just any girl, but Heidi. The Moon Blessed. The supposed "joke" of the Moon Goddess. One of the humans given wolf blood and shoved into their world like lambs tossed into a den of lions. A nobody. A pest. The girl he told himself he’d stay away from because that’s what he’s supposed to do with filth.
Except he didn’t think she was filth anymore, not after that night.
Gods, that night.
The memory sneaks up on him even now, when he’s lying on his bed staring at the ceiling, trying not to think. He can’t forget the way she had looked beneath him, flushed and wild and fragile all at once. He can’t forget how her breath had hitched when he’d entered her, how her nails had dug into his back as though she couldn’t survive without holding onto him.
It had been the best sex of his life. And not because it was technically perfect, not because it was acrobatic or fierce, though his wolf, Kairos, had howled with pleasure at every touch—but because it had meant something.
Because it had been her.
Heidi. The girl he swore was nothing. The girl he swore he would never touch.
And now every time he closed his eyes, all he saw was her. All he felt was the way she had trembled against him, the way she had trusted him, even when he didn’t deserve it.
Kairos growls restlessly in his chest even now "You deny her and deny us of her when she is ours. Do you feel what you’re doing to her? To me?"
Darien squeezes his eyes shut, fists clenching in the sheets. "I know," he whispers through gritted teeth. "I know, damn it. But what choice do I have?"
Because he can’t choose her. At least, not openly. Not when he lives in the Alpha’s house, not in this family.
Not with Daphne around.
His little sister who is also his mother’s little shadow.
She’s sweet-faced, doe-eyed, and dangerous in ways most people didn’t understand. Daphne is an empath wolf, which means she smells feelings like others smell fresh bread. A twitch of longing, a flicker of affection, and it’s as good as written across his forehead. And Daphne, unlike Isolde, who has always cared more for herself and her whims, takes after their mother. Daphne is ruthless and loyal to the family’s reputation above all else.
Best believe she’s always watching. Always ready to run and whisper into their mother’s ear if Darien strays even an inch from the script. And their mother—oh, she’d destroy Heidi without blinking.
That’s the cruel irony. His mother, who wears the mask of the perfect Luna, who has no scandals attached to her name, who runs charities for widows and hosts luncheons with angelic smiles is not so angelic.
Oh, by the Moon, beneath all that, she’s a viper. A woman who does the dirtiest deeds with gloves on, who cleans up her messes so neatly that the world still thinks she’s made of light. But Darien doesn’t blame her. Hell, he loves his mother so much and his family more than anything in the world. His mother is doing what’s best for them. He’s seen how broken Amias has been ever since his mother was caught cheating. He’s seen how stupid and disoriented the twins can be and how bleak their future seems because they’ve got a way too careless mother.
However, his own mother wants to ensure she raises rulers and leaders. She wants to ensure they get the best out of the future to come. All she does... everything, she does for them. And for that, he feels eternally indebted to her. He can’t do anything without her. She’s his literal lifeline.
However, if she ever, ever caught wind of Darien being serious about Heidi, or of Darien claiming her as his mate?
She’d flay the girl alive, and not in ways people would see. She’d erase Heidi’s existence slowly and cruelly. She’d grind her down until even death would look like mercy.
Darien knows this. And that’s why he keeps his distance. That’s why, after giving Heidi the one night that meant everything to him, he turned his back and pretended it meant nothing. Every time he’s told her she was beneath him, every time he’s let venom drip from his tongue, it’s been a dagger to his own chest.
Kairos howls whenever he does it. "Look, Darien, you’re a liar and a coward. She hurts because of you."
"I know," Darien mutters, pressing the heel of his palm into his eyes. "I know. But if she survives the Awakening, if she shows up with her head high, if she survives this damned semester and shows everyone she’s a badass, because I tell you, I’ve seen it in her, then maybe she’ll be untouchable. Maybe then even Mother won’t dare. I mean, after knowing she can make me feel that way, I don’t care if she’s strong or not, but it means we can not be together. So maybe today, her wolf will be revealed as a powerful one and she can meet all of his mother’s requirements."
That’s the twisted bargain he made with himself. Ignore her now. Hurt her now... to save her later.
Except when the announcement came that the Moon Blessed were to be thrown into the labyrinth, his stomach had dropped to the floor.
He wanted to object. He wanted to shout, to demand that she be spared especially since the strength of her wolf hasn’t been confirmed. But he couldn’t. Because if he did, Daphne would smell it. She’d know that he cares for her. He can already feel Daphne’s scrutiny of him and Heidi. Heidi’s death would be sealed, not by labyrinth demons, but by their mother’s hand if he fucks up and shows emotion.
So he shut his mouth. And he’s been choking on the silence ever since.
The past twenty-four hours after they left for the labyrinth have been hell.
He hasn’t left his room. Hasn’t eaten. Hasn’t opened the door even when Isolde knocked relentlessly, probably eager to gossip about the labyrinth trial even though she claimed it was urgent. He’s ignored them all, burying himself in the shadows, listening only to Kairos pacing inside him like a caged beast.
The wolf is restless and angry. "She suffers and you sit here. You’re seriously going to let her bleed and scream until she dies in there?"
Darien presses his head into the pillow, every muscle in his body taut. "I can’t do anything," he growls. "If I go, I’ll draw suspicion. If Daphne sees me pacing, if she smells me worrying... then what? Then Heidi’s dead anyway."
But still, he worries. Gods, does he worry. He imagines her fighting, imagines her bleeding, imagines her crying out for help in that cursed labyrinth while he sits here like a useless coward.
Every tick of the clock feels like a blade sawing into his nerves. He doesn’t sleep. He doesn’t breathe. He just waits. Please, be safe. Please, come back safely...
Those became his anthem for twenty-four fucking hours.
And when the twenty-fourth hour strikes, he can’t hold himself back anymore. He bolts upright, grabs his jacket, and storms out of his room.
The hallway feels too narrow and bright. His heart pounds against his ribs. Kairos thrashes in his chest, snarling to be released. They both want the same thing—her. Just to see her alive.
He’s moving so fast that when he turns the corner, he nearly slams into someone else. And oh, it’s none other than angry Amias. The tall and intolerable cold eldest brother who surprisingly has his coat half-buttoned as though he’d rushed out in a hurry himself.
Darien squints in observation. If there’s one thing he knows about his older brother, it’s that he’s always meticulous... too thorough to barge out of his room looking half dressed.
They lock eyes, and for a second, it’s like looking into a mirror. In his eyes, Darien sees the same panic and the same desperation. It can’t be...
No...
Amias can’t be worried about Heidi too, can he? He hasn’t seen Amias relate with her or get involved with her, although his little outburst during the Awakening ceremony surprises him. Amias stands up for Heidi in front of the entire school and demands that she shouldn’t be allowed to go into the labyrinth with an ungauged strength.
He’d been right, so Darien had brushed it off as his brother’s typical sense of justice, because surely, Amias couldn’t think he stood a chance with Heidi. He can’t possibly have the slightest hope that one day, he can give in to the bond and claim her.
Why?