Chapter 112: Lance’s Regret
"Damn, man! I hate it when you do this."
Kael lifted a brow at Lance, his expression calm while his brother’s eyes burned with irritation. The two of them stared at each other for a moment, neither willing to be the first to speak. Finally, Lance sighed and broke the silence. "You’re not saying anything."
"Neither are you," Kael pointed out without missing a beat.
Lance let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders tightening with frustration as he cast a look at him. "Kael. Convince him. Please."
The plea sounded almost desperate, and that was not something Kael often heard from his Supreme Alpha brother. Though Lance could get over worried over things, he was not one to ask for help, something was bothering him today. Something that he was trying to hide by playing it down as irritation.
Kael tilted his head slightly and sent his brother a curious look, finally asking, "You have your own apprehensions, and yet you want me to be the one to convince him?"
That earned him another sharp glare from Lance, who muttered through clenched teeth, "Damn you, Empath."
Kael only smiled at that. He didn’t need to rely on his gift to read his brother. Lance’s agitation was plain as day, written in every tense line of his body, in the way his voice carried both anger and fear.
He was worried about something-worried enough that he would push, insist, and even threaten to force his will on Zen if it came down to it.
Kael leaned back, crossed his arms wondering how far his brother was willing to go. It wasn’t often that Lance dropped his usual restraint. That alone told Kael just how serious this matter was.
"Lance. What has happened?"
Lance did not answer. He had no idea, how to. But as Kael continued to stare at him, he could not help but confide in his brother... " I’m losing control on my wolf, Kael."
Kael stilled at that. "What do you mean by that?"
An ordinary werewolf losing control over their animal meant that they were claw to turning feral but not with Lance. Lance had been in sync with his wolf forever. Also, the Supreme alpha wolf was quite calm and restrained. It would never try to fight Lance for control unless under extreme circumstances.
He watched Lance look away and shake his head, "Even I don’t know what is happening. And I dare not talk to the pack doctor about this. If this is leaked, the dark forces on the other side..."
"Lance. Tell me." Kael said, feeling a sudden surge of urgency.
Lance pressed his lips together and his hesitation was clear in the way his jaw clenched and unclenched. But Kael did not urge him and simply waited, until Lance finally exhaled sharply.
"I’ve been losing my memory," Lance admitted, his voice so quiet Kael almost thought he’d misheard him.
Kael stilled. "What do you mean-losing your memory?"
Lance rubbed a hand over his face, the exhaustion in his features becoming more visible by the second. "I... I don’t remember everything that happens when I sleep. A few months ago, I closed my eyes as myself-human-and when I woke up, I was in my wolf form. Outside. Alone. I thought, I was drained, too tired and did not question it, just told myself it was a fluke. Maybe I’d been restless, and the wolf had needed to breathe."
"The second time," Lance continued in a rough voice, "I was certain I had gone to bed as myself. I even remembered lying down. But when I woke... I was not in my bed again. I was in the woods, my paws dug into the dirt. I’d been running, Kael. Running as the wolf, and I didn’t even know it. Nor had any memory of where I had been."
Kael’s arms uncrossed, his hands resting flat on his knees now, his entire attention fixed on his brother. "And the third time?" he asked. He hoped there was no third time but he had a bad feeling...
Lance’s throat bobbed. His eyes darkened, haunted. "The third time... when I came to, I was standing over a corpse. My wolf was soaked in blood. For a moment, I couldn’t breathe. I thought I had slaughtered someone from our pack, or some wandering innocent. My hands claws were stained, and I couldn’t even remember it. I couldn’t even remember giving permission to my wolf to take over. Do you understand the horror of that, Kael? Not knowing what you’ve done?"
Kael’s heart pounded, but his face remained composed. "Who was it?"
"An intruder," Lance said, relief and shame tangled in his tone. "That’s what I learned after. The patrol confirmed it. He wasn’t one of ours. He wasn’t even innocent. He had crossed with the intention of harming. So yes, perhaps my wolf had acted in protection, but Kael..." He dragged in a breath, "I don’t remember it. Not a second of it. It’s like someone else was in control while I was lost in the dark."
Kael leaned back slowly, his mind working through every word. His brother wasn’t prone to dramatics. If Lance said he didn’t remember, then he truly didn’t.
"What did you do after that?" Kael asked carefully.
"I started looking for answers. Quietly. I couldn’t risk the pack knowing. If anyone catches wind that their Crown Prince Alpha was losing control of his wolf, it would spread like wildfire. And if the wrong ears caught it-the dark forces on the other side would tear us apart before I could even blink." His voice hardened. "You know I can’t allow that."
Kael nodded once, "And what did you find?"
"Nothing that made sense," Lance admitted bitterly. "Every source said the same thing-that wolves turn feral when they are too long without a mate or have lost their fated mate. That the bond between wolf and mate steadies the mind, the body, keeps us from unraveling. At first, I dismissed it. I’ve lived without one for this long, haven’t I? But..." He looked away, his voice dropping, "I began to wonder if maybe my wolf had finally had enough."
Kael’s eyes sharpened, but he didn’t interrupt.
"So I thought I’d test it. After all, I already know my mate." Lance continued. "I invited Ramona to stay with me last month. I thought maybe her presence would be enough to silence the wolf and steady him. For the first week, it seemed to work. I slept peacefully. I woke up in my bed, human, whole. I thought I’d found the cure."
Kael raised a brow. "But it didn’t last."
Lance gave a bitter laugh then, "No. It didn’t. By the second week, I woke again in the woods. Wolf. Alone. And worse, Kael- it keeps happening. Again and again. Each time, I lose more and more of myself. Each time, the memory slips further from me. I’m afraid that one day, I won’t come back at all. That I’ll wake as the wolf and never return."
Kael let the silence settle between them. His brother’s words carried a weight that even he couldn’t brush aside. The Supreme Alpha losing control of his wolf wasn’t just dangerous, it was catastrophic.