The Baron and Baroness of Gadobhra were finishing up their meeting with Commander Fogle when there was a polite knock on the door, and Ben entered the room. "Pardon the interruption, Your Excellencies and Commander, but you are all three needed elsewhere. I'm to personally escort you and Captain Darman to a conference of interesting people."
Billy hadn't planned on spending a lot of time in meetings. He needed to talk to Marcie, kick Vern in the ass, and get the expedition on its way before it got bogged down in more rebuilding projects or town protection duties. He'd hoped to cut a deal with Fogle for the services of his workers, but the Commander didn't have the rank to approve a payment larger than generous thanks for doing his civic duty and a promise to pass along any offers the Baron had to make. Captain Darman had arrived, stating that he'd brought reinforcements and would be overseeing the protection of the town for the near future. Fogle had instantly saluted, and his body language had changed. Before Billy could start finding out if the new guy would also thank him for his civic duty, Ben had arrived.
"I'm busy today, Ben. I'm doubting this is either important or mandatory. I've been thanked, and there is a distressing lack of business to do here, so I was planning on heading back to Gadobhra." That was how memos from ACME always described bullshit meetings. 'Please make time for this important and mandatory meeting. Thank you.'
Ben bowed politely to him, "I suspect it is mandatory for both Captain Darman and Commander Fogle. As for you and the Baroness, it becomes tricky. I don't think you can be ordered to attend, but Ozzy strongly stressed to me that it was in your best interests to do so, and to convey this to you in person. It will also be a couple of hours before you can leave, as that teleport stone is dangerously in need of maintenance and alignment, and I've taken it out of service. I'll have it back together about the time your meeting is over."
Darman sighed, "Shouldn't have left those two alone.
Layla wondered who Darman was referring to, and was very curious to find out. "Well then, I'm sure we can make time for a little tea party or some such. Come along, Billy. You know if the Butcher is hinting about our need to attend, that it won't be boring."
"Yeah, I guess so. But at the first sign of some Burghermeister offering me a gold-plated key, I'm leaving. 'Thank You' doesn't move the bottom line."
Ben smiled at them. "I, at least, think it will be an entertaining meeting. I believe it's being held in the Commander's office in the barracks. I'm sure he can guide you there." The Baron and Baroness shrugged, and Commander Fogle quickly led them out of the building. Ben started to leave, but a hand reached out and took a firm grip on his shoulder, turning him around. He stared into hard eyes in an impassive face.
"Explain the problem with the teleporter. It needs to be working, for reasons I'm not going to explain to you."
"Apologies for the subterfuge. Ozzy suggested using it if Baron William became difficult, but he also stressed the need for the teleporter to be kept available at all times. It does need some maintenance, but that can wait. I hope." The grip on his shoulders relaxed.
Darman nodded. "We'll discuss that later. You're certified to do the repairs? I wasn't aware that the Mage's Guild was training Couriers."
Ben said, "Be assured, I am competent and trained by the best, with an extensive knowledge of the theory behind the system."
Darman snorted, "Why do I think there's more to that statement than you are telling me? I take it the old rumors of House Franklin still having a well-stocked library and people dabbling in magitech are true? It explains how Baron William managed to produce two stones out of thin air."
Ben nodded, careful of his words. "I can confirm we have an excellent library that I don't get to spend nearly enough time in. And yes, there are at least two of us who study diligently in order to expand the Empire's teleportation network. But I'll refute the 'thin air' statement. Those damnable stones are heavy as hell and have to be carved out of the rock in the lowest levels of a ghoul-infested dungeon, then dragged up too many flights of stairs."
Darman nodded. "Point taken. And now, before I ask more questions that have interesting answers, let's head to that meeting, since we don't have to put a teleporter back together. But I have a simple question. Do you own a winged horse?"
"Well, Mudhead may argue over who owns who, but he does have wings when he wants them."
Darman shook his head and sighed. "If Corporal Gus asks for a ride, use that slippery tongue of yours to find a mostly true reason to say no."
Bill and Layla were seated, and a nervous Commander Fogle was clearing his desk as Ben and Darman walked in. Tiny, Ozzy, and Corporal Gus walked in a moment later. Gus was chewing on a sandwich made from three sausages and a loaf of bread, and Tiny was carefully carrying a bowl of soup. Fogle hurriedly vacated his desk and stood against the wall, stiff-backed. Tiny stood behind Gus as he sat at the desk and took a bite of his sandwich. Ozzy pulled out bottles of Sedgewick Double-Dark Lager and passed them around to whoever wanted one. Darman closed the door and stood in the way of anyone leaving or entering. He eyed the beer with distaste. "That bottle has enough dark mana in it to power a Death Ray spell."
Ben looked at the bottles and tried to imagine how one could bottle a spell. "How is that done? Runes on the bottle to channel the power of the spell, and the cap is the trigger? Another rune?"
Gus had to think about those questions. "Until now, I'd have said it was impossible to weaponize a bottle of beer that way. But now I have to wonder. I'll pose your questions to one of the more free-thinking Colleges. And please, send a message if you solve it yourself. I believe my bodyguard was simply commenting on the amount of mana in the bottle."
Darman shook his head and muttered, "Franklins..."
Ozzy spoke up, "The mana aids in the fermentation process and turns the beer into a potion if additional ingredients are added. We went through several kegs of Healing Beer after the battle."
Gus took a long swig of the beer after examining it. "Healing Beer? Interesting. But I'm getting sidetracked. First, let me extend my gratitude to the good Baron and Baroness here for their timely intervention. Thank You."
Billy rolled his eyes. "Yep, a big thank you from the local mayor. Thank you doesn't go far when it's time to pay for all the supplies we just used. Including the beer and sausages."
The bodyguards stiffened, and Commander Fogle nearly had a heart attack. After a second, Gus laughed and snorted beer out of his nose. Gus noticed the interesting look between the Courier and the Butcher. The two were greatly enjoying themselves while hiding it well. But Gus had spent a lifetime reading people. "No, William, it sure doesn't. You don't know how many times I've sat in Imperial Court for hours on that hard throne, listening to Barons and Countesses give long-winded speeches filled with gratitude and no offer of helping with the cost of deploying the Legion to save them, usually from problems of their own making. I'm happy to see you share my views. I wish I could voice mine, but that would only cause more problems. Instead, I raise their taxes." He took another bite of his sandwich.
Layla processed that statement first and glared at Billy, who got it a moment later. He turned and glared at Ozzy and Ben, who looked the picture of innocence, then turned back to Gus. "Now that I've got my foot halfway down my throat, what next?"
Gus waved his hand in the air, "You pull it out, take a beer, and ponder whether an Imperial thank you might mean a bit more. And I can see you'll be fun to have at court someday. Always good to have an outspoken, jumped-up outsider show up and put the blue-bloods in their place with a bit of common sense."
Layla took a beer and grinned. "Now, that sounds like fun. You should see William at the ACME Christmas parties. He always leaves a lasting impression on everyone."
Billy didn't remember most of what he'd done at those, and didn't want Layla to tell any stories. "Tell me how your thanks have value. Let's start there."
Gus shrugged, "Well, for one, my official gratitude for you being here makes the reason you were actually coming here moot, as well as your raising a private army and transporting it to another part of the Empire without any notice. Trust me, people have noticed you were up to something. Now I get to talk about how thankful I am that one of my Barons was properly preparing to deal with Winter and could respond to this unforeseen threat. It was unforeseen, was it not?"
"Yeah, surprised the hell out of us when we arrived in the middle of a battle. But we've been training for weeks, and the fight was right there in front of us. Couldn't pass up a good chance to give the troops a chance at real combat."
Gus looked at their torn and tattered leather armor. "And got a taste of it yourself. Makes me jealous. These big lugs get nervous about me swinging a sword these days. But tell me, unofficially, what the hell are you up to? I've got reports that you were preparing for some sort of expedition, but even Diego was confused by aspects of your preparations. And trust me, that man has seen a lot."
Layla looked at Billy, and he nodded. She took the lead. "ACME corporation liberated the Lizardman city south of here. Vernon Throckmorton was bringing order to it and building a trade route to the Empire. Then an Ice Dragon showed up, took control, and most of our people had to walk back from death. ACME wants the city back, and we have been making plans to retake it and reinstall Vice President Throckmeyer as their leader."
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"And? There has to be more to your plan than that. You have a small force, augmented by some lizards who will switch sides as soon as it looks like you're losing. You can't take the city with this force, let alone deal with a dragon. The timing seems significant, by the way. Same blue bastard that destroyed the power syphon and nearly brought down the teleport network?"
Layla hesitated, but Ben spoke up. "Yes. Unless Winter has two such beasts, and that seems preposterous. This one appeared the same day the other disappeared. It was trying to teleport at the time, and I theorize it found its way south, either by chance or design. My associates have been watching for any hint of it using the teleport network or releasing Icy mana into it, with no indications of either."
Billy pointed at Ben. "What he said. And yeah, I've got a plan. The lizards are at war with each other constantly, the city vs the smaller villages, the villages against each other, and all the clans fighting over the city and who gets to be boss. Vern got lucky and stepped into a power vacuum, and the Dragon stepped on Vern. I'm not fighting the thing that way. I'd lose, and I hate to lose."
Gus grinned, "A small, plucky band of guerrilla fighters roams the jungle inciting a civil war? It has the start of a great story. What keeps the Dragon from flying out and eating you? They do love the taste of small armies."
"He won't leave his lair, too comfortable. He's an ice drake and likes heat and humidity even less than I do. He's got a pile of gold to sit on and more pouring in every day from the villages. It would take one hell of a big incentive to draw him out."
Gus snapped his fingers. "And you're after his gold. That was the piece I was missing. Why would the famously crafter Baron of Gadobhra focus on something that was going to cost him money? You already have an evil, ancient city to rule over and the beginnings of a merchant empire. You stand to lose it if Winter wins. Instead of staying home, you're sending troops down south to play with the lizards. Do they have that much gold?"
"Maybe."
"I'll take that as a yes. So even if you don't shift the dragon, you'll be making life hell for him. They hate to lose money, and doubly bemoan the loss of gold. It's a good plan. Guerrilla war, revenge, and a huge profit. I like it. It would even help me out by keeping the lizards and the dragon focused on you, and not attacking the empire..."
Gus sighed, partly because he'd finished his sandwich. "...too bad I can't let you do it."
Billy leaned forward. "Why the hell not? Firstly, why do you think I need permission? And why wouldn't you want me to do it? You said it would help."
Gus leaned back in his chair. "Well, I know the answer, but you might not believe me. Let's see what other people think. Benjamin Franklin? Why not let your Baron continue with his plan?"
Ben was racking his brain. "Because he got caught? Seriously, it seems to be beneficial both to Baron William, the Empire, and ACME corporation."
"Hmm, no. Not quite. Ozzy?"
Ozzy sighed. He'd seen this coming as soon as Gus put the brakes on. "Vernon Throckmorton of ACME could attack the lizards, and it didn't matter. Baron William of Gadobhra can't wage war on another Empire without repercussions. One of which is every other Baron or Count using his actions and your inaction as a blessing on something they do that's similar. The Empire could find itself in a half-dozen little border wars. Hell, and that's just the first problem. As soon as Billy carts out a load of gold, and people hear about it, you'll have a dozen more Barons bringing their armies down this way. It will be a gold rush that weakens you in the North just as Winter is attacking."
Gus nodded. "I lose control of the War in the North, and weaken my power to control the nobles."
Billy looked at Ozzy. "What the hell! I know damned well how good you are at playing stupid. Did you forget who you work for?"
Ozzy shrugged and scratched his head. "Nope, five-year contract, remember? You pay me to chop meat, but that does give me a lot of time to think. I saw the problem in the plan, but I was hoping you could quietly get your expedition to the jungle without a lot of fuss. It's a force of mercenaries and hired soldiers. Once they disappeared into the greenery, you'd be home safe for a while. We've been brainstorming on ways to get the gold home without shipping it through the empire and causing the gold rush that the Emperor fears. Blame the lizards for stirring up trouble. But I'm sure you'll figure something out. After all, you're the clever and crafty Baron of Gadobhra."
Gus handed his empty soup bowl back to Tiny and turned back to Billy. "He does make good sausages. If you get tired of him, I'll pay good money to hire him. A bodyguard who cooks? Priceless."
Ozzy looked at Ben, "Your family got involved in a lot of little wars. You told me some of the history. How did the Franklins get away with that? Pirates get a pass?"
Ben looked aghast. "Pirates? My good sir, while the charge of piracy has been thrown unjustly against my family all too often, we have stacks of paperwork to show that we had permission to raid and pillage in the service of the Empire. We are Privateers, not pirates!"
Ozzy looked like he was having trouble understanding. "You attack ships, steal gold, and raid cities?"
"Of course."
"Then what's the difference, pray tell?"
Ben took off his hat and removed a rolled-up paper. "The Scarecrow got a brain, and the Lion got a Heart. The House of Franklin was smart, as well as courageous, already. We asked for a Letter of Marque. I took the liberty of making a copy of it when I was home. Never know when it might come in handy. Just fill in a few names, change the wording, and Baron William can become a legal agent of the Emperor. And, no other Baron can do the same as him without similar permission."
Billy looked from Ozzy to Ben, who looked back innocently. He sighed and turned to Gus. "Does that work?"
Gus nodded, snapped his fingers, and Tiny produced a case with pens, ink, and an ingenious alchemical substance that removed ink from paper. "I think it does. After all, the lizards attacked the Empire first, causing untold damage. The Empire demands recompense, plus punitive damages and interest. I encourage you to raid them and bleed them dry."
Billy reached for the pen to sign and screamed. "A 60% cut of the gold! Are you crazy?"
Gus pondered that. "Darman, if I'm found insane, can I retire early?"
"Sorry, sir. Far too many precedents of the Empire being ruled by crazed loons that you're related to. They'd keep you."
"See? Not crazy. Or it doesn't matter. 60% seems fair to me, and will deter most people from even thinking about asking for such a document."
Billy and Layla looked pained and ill. Then Layla asked, "Are we talking gross or net?"
Gus winked at her. "It doesn't say in that document, but I was thinking we'd do a second small agreement where you were allowed to deduct expenses from the total first. Be creative, I would. What is left will be split 60/40. My 60% will go toward things like paying to have roads built, hiring people to fortify towns, build fortresses, and any manner of things good for the Empire. Might even buy a couple hundred ballistae. I hear you can get a few onagers thrown in for free on a big contract."
Billy began to breathe again, and his heart slowed. "What about taxes?"
"High, so very, very high. At least on paper, that I'll make sure a few people will see. In the end, I'm sure that when the last coin is counted, you'll pay 1% tax on the gross amount to the imperial tax authority. As Emperor, I'll get 10% of the gross, and you and ACME corporation will bank the rest. It just won't look that way to anyone else."
Billy still wanted to grumble, but Layla took a pen and signed. "We can live with that, and it does prevent future problems. Right, William?"
The Baron thought things over, seeing the potential upsides. He could also imagine the number of people this deal would piss off. That warmed his heart. "Oh, of course. I'm nothing if not a loyal noble and citizen of the Empire."
Gus signed, and Ben and Darman made sure things would hold up in an Imperial Court. Ben pulled more paper from his ring, and a set of documents was produced outlining a second deal, strangely devoid of names and signatures. When it was all done, more beer was opened and everyone who wasn't a bodyguard started to relax.
The Emperor considered the two nobles in front of him. "You are doing good work. I need you in the North, and I need those towns protected. There is no one else there to do it. This little expedition will help here in the south. But make no mistake: I demand your loyalty. Play fair with me, and I will do the same to you. Perhaps not always in public. Feel free to curse me over your tax burden. In fact, I order you to. Not doing so would be suspicious. I will have my doubts about you and your evil city, and air them in court. But know that loyalty goes both ways. Your actions here today, and your defense of the north, have not gone unnoticed."
Billy looked at the man in front of him a little differently as he spoke. He and Layla both inclined their heads. Gus waited a moment and said, "I hear you have a nice brochure showing examples of your war machines? I think I have time to place a large order for my fortresses here in the south. After all, I have a windfall of tax money coming in."
Layla held out her hand to Ben, who handed her several brochures. "Of course. We have to keep our best customer happy."