Chapter 127: “How to Make Future Generations Dumber”
Li Ming vs. destiny, round ∞.
---
Morning in the ancient sect was peaceful.
Too peaceful.
Birds chirped. Disciples meditated.
And Li Ming sat on a rock, glaring at the horizon like it personally offended him.
Bai Guo, perched on a teapot, tilted his head. "Descendant, are you... brooding again?"
Li Ming didn’t answer. He was busy drawing diagrams in the dirt labeled:
’How to Prevent Chicken Cults (Prototype 4)’
’Stop Li Wen from Founding the Thunder Egg Sect’
’Operation: Historical Idiocy’
Bai Guo fluttered closer. "I’m both impressed and terrified. What’s the plan this time?"
Li Ming exhaled slowly. "Simple. I’ll teach my ancestor’s generation completely useless techniques. If I ruin their foundations, they can’t possibly turn into the legends who worship chickens."
Bai Guo blinked. "So your grand plan is... sabotage via stupidity?"
Li Ming stood, hands clasped behind his back. "Exactly. I call it strategic regression."
Bai Guo snorted. "You call it that because ’bad idea’ sounds less noble."
---
Half an hour later, the sect training ground was full of eager disciples.
Li Wen stood at the front, notebook ready. "Master! What new secret art will you grant us today?"
Li Ming smiled benevolently. "A most profound technique. One that will... humble your souls and strengthen your bodies."
The crowd gasped.
He raised a finger. "Behold — the Infinite Potato Stance."
Confusion rippled across the crowd.
Bai Guo whispered, "Oh, this is going to be beautiful."
Li Ming demonstrated: squatting halfway down, arms out, one foot slightly wobbly, face perfectly emotionless.
"Hold this position," he said gravely, "for three hours. Feel the flow of Qi through your... calves."
Silence.
Then Li Wen copied him, trembling. "Master, I feel... nothing!"
"Good," Li Ming said. "That means it’s working."
---
Two hours later.
The disciples were all trembling, drenched in sweat.
Bai Guo whispered, "You’ve traumatized a generation."
Li Ming grinned. "Perfect. The dumber, the safer history becomes."
Then—
a sudden wave of Qi swept through the courtyard.
The air shimmered. Lightning cracked.
Li Ming blinked. "What the—?"
Dozens of disciples suddenly glowed with faint golden light. Their spiritual roots pulsed visibly, expanding.
Bai Guo squawked, "They’re having breakthroughs!"
Li Ming’s smile died. "WHAT!?"
The sect trembled as multiple disciples entered Core Formation simultaneously— from holding a squat.
Li Wen’s eyes blazed. "Master! The Infinite Potato Stance truly channels the earth’s rhythm! I can feel the Qi of the land!"
Li Ming’s jaw dropped. "That’s not supposed to happen!"
Bai Guo laughed so hard he fell over. "You just accidentally invented a cultivation revolution by teaching them leg day!"
---
By nightfall, the sect was chanting again.
"Glory to the Great Master who awakened the Root of Potatoes!"
Lanterns filled the air with golden light.
Someone carved a monument before dinner.
It read:
’The Heavenly Sage who made mortals one with tubers.’
Li Ming stared at it in silence.
Bai Guo leaned over his shoulder. "You’ve gone from Thunder Egg to Potato Saint in one day. That’s cross-elemental embarrassment."
Li Ming muttered, "If fate were a person, I’d fight it."
Bai Guo smiled. "It’d still win. With potatoes."
---
(Part-2)
When fate stops laughing and starts taking notes.
---
Li Ming stood on the sect’s balcony, watching his disciples excitedly squat in rows like synchronized frogs.
Every few seconds, one would shout "Enlightenment!" and a lightning bolt would strike somewhere in the distance.
He looked dead inside.
"I tried to make them dumber," he muttered, "and they invented cardio cultivation."
Bai Guo was sipping tea smugly. "Face it, descendant — your curse isn’t bad luck. It’s plot luck. Even your failures create legends."
Li Ming exhaled slowly. "Fine. If stupidity becomes enlightenment, then I’ll give them something so stupid it can’t possibly work."
Bai Guo grinned. "Oh, this should be catastrophic."
---
By afternoon, the sect gathered again.
Drums beat. Smoke rose. Someone was selling "Potato Saint" charms near the gate.
Li Ming raised his hand for silence. "Today, I’ll teach you the pinnacle of spiritual nonsense."
He took a deep breath and declared:
"The Eternal Breathing Technique of the Sleeping Dragon."
Bai Guo blinked. "Sleeping... dragon?"
"Yes," Li Ming said gravely. "A method so profound, it must only be practiced horizontally."
Li Wen frowned. "You mean—lying down?"
"Indeed. One must lie perfectly still," Li Ming said, voice full of fake solemnity. "Do nothing. Think of nothing. Embrace absolute laziness."
Bai Guo was already wheezing. "You’re teaching them to nap."
Li Ming smirked. "Exactly. No one can gain enlightenment if they’re unconscious."
---
Half an hour later, a hundred disciples were sprawled across the courtyard like corpses.
Bai Guo perched on a nearby statue, tears of laughter in his eyes. "You’ve turned a cultivation sect into a napping competition!"
Li Ming folded his arms, smug. "Finally. Peace, quiet, and no divine nonsense."
And then—
the ground began to hum.
A warm, glowing light rose from beneath the disciples. Qi gathered like mist, swirling into luminous clouds. The sect trembled.
Li Ming blinked. "No. No, no, no—what now!?"
The entire courtyard suddenly pulsed with spiritual resonance. The sleeping disciples’ breathing synchronized, creating a rhythmic vibration that spread through the air.
The sky turned gold.
Mountains echoed the rhythm.
Even Bai Guo’s feathers stood on end.
Li Wen sat up mid-slumber, eyes glowing faintly. "Master... I saw a dragon in my dream! It taught me the Way of Restful Enlightenment!"
"What—?!" Li Ming yelled. "You saw what!?"
"The dragon said we have awakened the Dao of Serenity!"
The sect erupted in cheers.
"Glory to the Dreaming Saint!" someone cried.
"Praise the Sleeping Dragon!" another shouted.
Bai Guo clutched his stomach, laughing hysterically. "They’ve achieved enlightenment through naps! You’ve just founded Nap Cultivation!"
Li Ming covered his face. "I can’t even ruin history correctly."
---
That night, the entire sect was asleep — cultivating through dreams. The valley glowed faintly, pulsing with a heartbeat of divine rhythm.
Li Ming and Bai Guo sat by a fire, watching the night sky flicker.
Bai Guo said between chuckles, "So, Potato Saint by morning, Sleeping Dragon by night. You’re building a very comfortable religion."
Li Ming groaned. "Next time I try to destroy civilization, remind me to just not show up."
"Oh no," Bai Guo said, sipping tea, "I’m writing all this down. Future historians need entertainment."
---
In the morning, Li Wen approached, bowing deeply. "Master! The Dreaming Sect has reached new heights! Our disciples can now cultivate even while unconscious!"
Li Ming’s eye twitched. "You mean they’re still asleep?"
"Yes! They refuse to wake up until they reach Nirvana!"
Bai Guo whispered, "Congratulations. You’ve invented the world’s first self-sustaining lazy sect."
Li Ming looked up at the heavens. "If I ever get back to my own time, I swear—"
From the distance, thunder rolled softly.
Bai Guo smirked. "Heaven agrees, descendant. It’s laughing too."
To be continued...