Chapter 125: The heavenly chicken incident
Time-Travel Accident Arc — when history becomes nonsense.
The next morning, peace returned to the valley.
Birds chirped. The morning breeze danced through dew-soaked grass.
And Li Ming was hiding behind a bush, staring at a chicken.
Not an ordinary chicken — oh no.
This one glowed faintly gold, feathers gleaming like polished jade, eyes burning with pure disdain.
Bai Guo perched on Li Ming’s shoulder, unimpressed. "That’s a chicken, descendant. You’re glaring at breakfast."
Li Ming narrowed his eyes. "That’s no breakfast. That’s the sect’s guardian beast in this era — the Golden Feathered Spirit Rooster. They said it only respects those with divine Qi control."
"So, what’s the plan? Bribe it with corn?"
"Please. I have class."
He stood, summoned a thread of lightning to his palm, and extended it like a handshake.
"Peace offering," he said.
The rooster stared. Then, in one smooth motion, it raised its head—
—and slapped him across the face with a wing.
Li Ming froze.
Bai Guo’s beak dropped open. "It just slapped you!"
Li Ming blinked slowly, one eye twitching. "Did that... feathered cabbage just challenge me?"
The rooster puffed its chest, squawked dramatically, and released a burst of golden Qi that rippled through the clearing.
Li Ming’s hair stood on end. "Oh, it did challenge me."
---
The next five minutes could only be described as chaos in the shape of poultry.
Lightning flashed. Feathers flew.
The chicken dodged every strike like a seasoned martial artist, occasionally countering with pecks that hit harder than boulders.
Li Ming gritted his teeth. "How— does— it— MOVE— like— this!?"
Bai Guo was cackling. "You’re losing to my brother!"
"Not losing—" BOOM! "—just pacing myself!"
Then the rooster suddenly leapt, its wings glowing with divine Qi, and slammed into Li Ming’s chest like a thunderball.
He hit the ground hard, dazed, staring up at the sky.
The rooster strutted over proudly and sat on his stomach.
Bai Guo wheezed. "Oh heavens, it mounted you in victory."
Li Ming muttered, voice flat, "I’m going to erase this from history."
---
Unfortunately, history had already taken notes.
Li Wen, his ancestor, appeared at the edge of the clearing, surrounded by disciples.
He froze at the sight of the glowing rooster perched on Li Ming’s chest — peaceful, majestic, its feathers shining like molten gold.
"Master!" Li Wen gasped, dropping to his knees. "You’ve subdued the Heavenly Chicken! The ancient guardian has accepted you!"
Li Ming blinked. "...The what now?"
"The prophecies said a Divine Sage would command the Celestial Rooster and bring prosperity to the valley!"
Bai Guo whispered, half dying from laughter, "Descendant... you just became the Chicken Emperor."
Li Ming’s face went blank. "...No."
The rooster puffed its feathers, squawked loudly, and—
to everyone’s astonishment— perched on his shoulder like a loyal pet.
Li Wen’s eyes filled with awe. "Heavenly omen! Truly, our master commands all beasts!"
Bai Guo whispered, "You’re going to be famous for this."
Li Ming muttered darkly, "If the future me ever finds out that my reputation started with poultry, I swear—"
---
That night, the valley lit up with celebration.
Disciples carved wooden statues of the "Heavenly Chicken."
Someone painted a mural of Li Ming riding it through the skies.
There were chants. Songs. Dances.
Li Ming sat on a rock, face buried in his hands.
Bai Guo flapped beside him, smug. "Congratulations, descendant. The Dao of Tea was funny. But the Cult of Chicken? That’s eternal."
Li Ming sighed deeply. "One day, someone in the future will find these ruins... and think I was a poultry-themed demigod."
The golden rooster beside him purred proudly, then gently pecked his sleeve — as if agreeing.
"...Don’t look so proud," Li Ming muttered. "You hit me first."
----
The day history officially stopped making sense.
The next morning, sunlight spilled across the valley, warm and peaceful.
Too peaceful — because everyone in a five-mile radius was worshiping a chicken.
Drums thundered.
Disciples knelt in rows, chanting,
"Glory to the Heavenly Feather! Long live the Golden Rooster Saint!"
Li Ming stood on a balcony, blank-faced, holding a cup of tea that he hadn’t sipped in twenty minutes.
Beside him, Bai Guo was laughing so hard he nearly fell off the railing.
"Haha! You have bad luck with chickens, descendant!" he wheezed. "You even lost to me back in Chapter One!"
Li Ming’s grip tightened around his teacup. "Remind me again why I haven’t roasted you yet?"
"Because deep down, you know I’m right!"
Li Ming sighed. "I was supposed to subdue an ancient beast, not become the leader of a poultry cult."
Below them, the glowing rooster strutted proudly through a crowd of disciples, accepting offerings of grain and spirit stones with imperial dignity. Occasionally, it’d crow— and every time it did, flowers literally bloomed in response.
Li Ming rubbed his temples. "I can’t decide if that’s divine or ridiculous."
---
"Master!"
Li Wen, his ancestor, ran up the stairs, eyes blazing with excitement. "The Heavenly Chicken— I mean, Divine Guardian— has been meditating all night! The sky trembled twice!"
"Probably indigestion," Li Ming muttered.
"Master, this is fate!" Li Wen said earnestly. "The chicken is learning the Dao!"
Bai Guo snorted. "Oh, that’s rich. Even the poultry are cultivating now."
Li Ming gave a long, weary sigh. (Like you?)"Alright. If this bird’s going to make me famous, I might as well make sure it doesn’t blow itself up."
He leapt down to the courtyard. The crowd parted instantly, whispering reverently as he approached the glowing rooster, who looked up at him expectantly.
"Alright, you majestic omelet," he said. "Let’s try something simple."
He extended his palm, lightning crackling gently in the air. "Observe carefully."
He performed a controlled Qi technique — a slow spiral of energy forming a perfect circle before dispersing harmlessly.
"See that? Precision, control, calmness. The key to cultivation."
The rooster tilted its head. Then, without hesitation—
it imitated him.
Except instead of a calm Qi spiral...
a blinding vortex of golden thunder erupted from its body, blasting a hole through the sky.
The entire sect fell to their knees.
Li Wen shouted, "Heavenly Ascension! It’s achieving enlightenment!"
Bai Guo screeched, "You just taught a chicken how to ascend!"
Li Ming stared upward, watching the glowing bird rise into the heavens with divine music playing somewhere in the distance.
The rooster let out one final, echoing crow—
and vanished into a beam of light.
Silence.
Then Bai Guo, barely holding in laughter, whispered, "You know what’s the best part?"
Li Ming didn’t answer.
Bai Guo grinned. "In a thousand years, historians will say the Great Sage Li Ming personally enlightened the first celestial chicken."
Li Ming closed his eyes. "I’m going to time travel home... and erase this entire week."
---
Later that night, Li Wen proudly erected a stone monument.
The inscription read:
"Here, our wise and dignified Master enlightened the Golden Feathered Sage, patron of thunder and breakfast alike."
Li Ming stood in front of it, dead inside.
Bai Guo perched beside him, smug.
"Well, descendant," he said, "at least your legacy will be unforgettable."
Li Ming muttered, "I’d prefer undocumented."
To be continued...