Chapter 117: BTS
Koda;
"Will you give me one?" He pushes, and my breath hitches.
"I...I’ve never had sex before, so I don’t... know what I’m supposed to do... or how things work here... but I want a baby." He whispers further and I swallow hard as reason and want start a furious battle in my mind.
"You’re kind, and out of everyone I’ve met since I’ve got here... you’re the person who makes me feel the safest. If I were to choose anyone to make a baby with... It’s you." He adds, and my hand falls to the ground as I feel my lower body begin to respond to the need in his touch and the sluttery in his voice.
"Give me a baby, Koda. Please..." He slurs, and I feel sweat trickle down the side of my face as his scent deepens and invades my sanity.
He gently pulls away from me, and his eyes lock with mine.
"You want a baby, don’t you? I’m ready. I want you to be my first. I can show you that I’m ready..." He says, and I blink at him.
His hands move to my hair, and I feel him bury his fingers in it. He moves closer to me and locks his lips with mine.
I pause, shocked that he’s doing it, and as much as I want him to be sure that he wants this, I can’t stop the excitement that strums through me as he kisses me.
My hand finds its way to his bare waist, and my grip on him is firm as I kiss him back.
He breaks the kiss, and I stare at his now flustered face. He smiles sheepishly at me, and I smile back at him.
Does he even know what he’s asking?
"Does palm wine make you horny?" He questions, and I pause.
"N...not personally," I reply, and his cheeks turn a shade redder as he looks away.
Just then, I watch his smile falter, and mine drops. There’s something on his mind. What is it?
"Can I... confess something?" He whispers, and I gulp for the umpteenth time.
"Sure..." I reply, and he steals a glance at me before looking away.
"I... I deliberately drank all the wine." He says, and I raise a brow.
"What? Why?"
"Because... because I want to be honest with you. And I’ll be easier to do it drunk, you know?" He replies, and my brows knot in confusion.
He wants to be honest? About what?
"And... and if I’m drunk, I won’t care much if you believe me or not. I’ll... I’ll be able to get everything off my mind. And I won’t feel guilty about anything." He adds, and I slowly sit down in front of him.
What is he talking about?
"After seeing Seun’s family today... I realised that I want mine. I... I want a husband who loves me as much as Kishan loves Seun, and... and I want to have my own baby. My own child too... to show all the love I wish my parents showed me..." He says softly before looking back up at me, and my heart breaks when I see the emotions in his eyes have shifted.
He’s sad.
"I want to love my child. I’ll... I’ll make sure they never doubt my love. I’ll... I’ll always be there for them when they need me. I’ll... I’ll be the best parent and... and I know that with you, our child will be the luckiest baby in the world." He adds, and I watch a tear slide down his face.
"But to have that with you, I need to be totally honest, yeah? No secret. No lies. I know that... relationships built on lies crumble." He continues, and I watch him in growing worry.
Why does he sound like his past is some terrifying thing that might unravel me if I find out?
If it is... am I sure I want to find out?
No.
I should stop him.
If his past is going to take him away from me or cause a rift between us, I don’t want to know it. I’m uninterested.
His past doesn’t matter. I don’t care what it is. We can start afresh. Me and I. We can start anew...
"I want to tell you where I’m really from." He says, and I swallow.
He suddenly stands up, but he sways, and I rush to my feet and grab him so he doesn’t fall.
"You know, if this were a K-drama, this would be the part with soft music, gentle breeze from nowhere and intense zoom-ins." He says with a grin, and I raise a brow.
Here he goes again... What’s a K-drama and Zooming? And what do they have to do with music??
"You don’t understand what I just said, do you?" He questions, and I come back to the present. I nod slowly, and he sighs as he stands up straight and steadies himself.
"I know. I keep forgetting our differences sometimes." He replies, and I tilt my head in confusion as I watch him, and he giggles.
"You’re cute when you do that," he says, and I raise a brow.
I’m cute?!
"When you’re curious about something and tilt your head like doing that helps you understand better," he says with a small laugh, and I just blink back.
"You switch from Secy bear to Teddy bear," he adds, and I take a deep breath.
Of course, he won’t make sense. He’s drunk.
This whole thing is a flop. He’s drunk now. He won’t appreciate the food and will only keep saying gibberish.
But it’s good. At least he’s not trying to tell me about his past.
It sounds like it might tear us apart, and I’m not ready to risk that.
"Oh. I almost forgot. I was gonna tell you my truth." He suddenly says, and my heart skips a beat.
"No, you don’t, Eliàn." I interrupt, and he looks at me like I just said something stupid.
"Yes, I do!" he replies and stops.
"Oh my God, I just sounded like that Jimin meme!" He squeals, and I raise a brow.
Now, who’s Jimin? What’s going on?
"Come on. Sit. You need to sit down for this." He says as he pushes me down onto the mat, and not wanting to upset him, I obey.
I stare at him with my heart beating in my throat as he wobbles a few feet away and starts pacing.
"So... I come from a place named NewYork." He says, and I raise a brow.
Images of every map Father ever made me memorise pop up in my head, and I remember nothing about NewYork.
There’s no such place as New York. If there was... I’d know. The maps would have them, and I’ve memorised every map there is.
"New York... is a loud, noisy... sometimes filthy place! But it was home." Elián continues dreamily as he holds his hands against his heart with his face lifted to the open sky.
"It has burgers, French fries, and pizza... Sweet, cheesy... glorious pizza. It makes my mouth water just thinking about it." He continues, and I watch him talk about this nonexistent place like it’s paradise.
"You know, I never thought I could ever survive this long without pizza. But look at me." He says as he suddenly looks at me, and I eye him in worry.
Had the alcohol messed with his head??
He suddenly gets on the mat and moves close to me. He sits in front of me, and he’s so close that our knees are touching.
"Now, don’t get me wrong. This place is cool too. But... but it still doesn’t beat home, you know? If you saw it, you’d understand." He says, looking into my eyes like he expects me to understand, and I simply nod in order not to upset him.
"As shitty as most parts of it were... I can’t help but miss the good parts." He whispered, and the sadness in his voice is unmissable.
He may be drunk... and he may be saying gibberish, but that pain is real. I can feel its sting.
I don’t like it.
I reach out to Elián and lift his chin so he’ll look at me.
"Tell me about the good parts," I speak, and I watch the sadness in his eyes fade away as a huge smile splits his face.
"There were many good things! We had... We had movies, anime, festivals... music..." He continues as he starts counting on his fingers, but stops.
I watch in confusion as his face goes blank, and in the next second, his expression falls again.
I watch tears well up in his eyes, as his lips press into a pout, and my heart drops into my stomach.
He’s... he’s about to cry?
Why? What did he remember??
"Elián? Are you alright? What... what is it?" I question in worry as I take hold of his shoulder, and he throws his head back as he lets out a wail.
"I just remembered BTS would be back from the army by now... and I missed it!!" He cries, and I pause.
Who’s back from the army??