Chapter 279: Chapter 279 A Taste of His Pain
"Hypocrite?" His voice sounded hurt.
"Yes, you are only willing to look past the Fae because of Ember right? You are willing to let go of whatever hatred you have towards her kind. And that is why you have been protective of me even in front of your pack." My chest tightened with bitterness.
His throat bobbed up and down. "You know what you are right, I was once blinded by my hatred towards the Fae that I had to reject my mate. I turned my back on her... but I didn’t decide to accept the Fae because of my guilt. But because of the love I have for her."
My lips parted, then, they stretched into a bigger smile. "That doesn’t mean you don’t hate them. You only learn to accept them because of your love... but did you even try to see things from the Fae’s perspective? The war... it wasn’t just you and your kind that lost people, we Fae lost our princess too."
"Stop," he growled, his chest tightening. "You would never understand the disaster your princess caused us."
"She was the most virtuous princess in the Fae’s history. She was the purest in the whole realm, but you killed her... You fucking killed her because of your hatred." My hand clenched into a fist.
Damon let out a laugh, it was the most bitter and hollow laughter I had ever heard. "Your pure princess? Do you know what she did?" He walked closer to me, every step he took sent jolts of shivers down my spine.
His muscles flexed as if he were having a hard time controlling his anger. His frame towered over me, his scent flooding my nostrils.
"Your purest princess, not only gave the golden orb to the witches. But she killed my mate, my child, and my brother’s mate. Do you know how she killed them?"
Surprise flickered through my eyes, and I unconsciously took a step back. "What do you mean... she would never do that." I stuttered.
Damon’s eyes flickered to a full pitch black without white, then a cry tore from my throat.
A sudden wave of emotions burst through me. It was so overwhelming and painful that I couldn’t help but cry out.
My chest clenched, tightening with a pressure so strong it felt like a mountain was pressing down on it.
I clenched my chest, guilt, hatred, sorrow, pain, and frustration that had lasted for more than a century tore through me, they were raw, consuming my senses. I felt angry, I hated myself, I wished to die, I wished to burn the world... I wished for revenge... to carry the grudges to my grave.
But none of these emotions were mine.
"Can you feel it? CAN YOU FEEL IT!" He grabbed my shoulders, his face inches away from mine.
My eyes met his pitched black eyes, they were like an endless abyss, with a promise to swallow me whole, drawing me to their depths.
Tears trickled from my eyes uncontrollably.
"This is what I feel every day, every day I relive that day. Every day I see the scene of my mate’s stomach torn open, the lifeless body of my child, the massacre of my people, the death of my family... of my kind. And you called me a hypocrite? Is that all I am to you?" His voice broke.
Tears trickled down his face, and his lips quivered. "How can I forgive, if I can’t even forget?" He lowered his head. "I hurt Ember because of the past, and I’m willing to change for her, but that is because I know she has a good heart... she might be stubborn and annoying... but she was good, and I failed to see that..."
"Damon," I whispered, clutching his chest. "Make it stop... make it stop! I’m losing my mind!" I screamed. A wave of light split through the air, cracking the walls and shattering most of the glass in the room. "Pleasee!"
My fingers unclutched his clothes, and they dug into my head. My skull felt like it was splitting in two, the pain was searing, the emotions were confusing and overwhelming, and I could not process them.
"The witches took too much from me to forgive them Aeris, I can never forgive them." his hold on my shoulder loosened, and he pulled me into his embrace.
His pitched black eyes slowly turned to their normal shade, and his emotions began to calm, like a storm calming down.
My body slumped into his, I slowly recovered my senses. The heartbeat echoing from his chest was like an anchor to reality.
’I almost went insane... how could someone have such intense emotion?’ My fingers buried into his clothes.
My body stiffened when his head rested on my shoulder, warm liquid soaking my clothes.
’He is crying?’
"I’m sorry Ember... I’m sorry, I can’t be the man you want me to be. I’m just too broken and hurting that I couldn’t help but push you away. I hurt you, disregarded your feelings, and sent you to your grave. I’m sorry... I’m sorry for not fixing myself before I met you... I’m sorry for being an asshole. I wish I could rewind time... but I know I’d already fucked up. Hate me, hit me if you must... but don’t look at me with disgust, don’t call me a hypocrite if you don’t know my past." More tears trickled down his cheeks.
My lips parted, but no words came out. My nose turned red, my eyes welled with tears, I wanted to curse him, to call him names, I wanted to hit him for all the wrong he did... and I still hated him, I couldn’t forgive him.
But his pain I had felt a moment ago made me wonder what had happened to him that would make him feel so much pain... It was so painful that it could drive anyone mad.
Tears streamed down my face, my lips stretched as sobs escaped from them.
"Ember... please come back to me, I need you... please." His arms tightened around my waist. "I’m sorry."