Chapter 190: I Love This Selfish Side Of You
Yelena’s mind was in chaos.
There was no way she could tell Mika the truth, no way she could admit what was really going on inside her.
After last night, everything had changed. The way she looked at him, the way she felt when he smiled, the way her heart reacted when he touched her, it was all different....Terrifyingly different.
She wanted him. Desperately. Every fiber of her being screamed for him to kiss her again, to pull her in the way he used to when they were young and innocent, but this wasn’t innocence anymore.
This was raw, aching desire, and it scared her more than any battle she had ever fought. She tried to keep her composure, to remind herself that she was supposed to be the adult here, his guardian, his mentor, but her body and heart refused to listen.
Mika could see the war waging inside her, the tension in her shoulders, the way her fingers fidgeted against her thigh, and he finally sighed.
"It’s obvious you’re struggling, Yelena. I can see you want to say something but can’t. And I get it, some truths are hard to admit."
"Mika..." Her eyes darted up, nervous.
He smiled faintly. "It’s fine. If you won’t say the truth, then I will. I’ll tell you the truth about why I was being so...intimate with Charlotte in the living room."
Yelena’s expression hardened immediately, her jealousy flaring again.
"Oh, please...I already know. You were just being a horny man trying to have fun with my daughter. That’s what men your age do, isn’t it?"
"Okay, yes. I was horny." Mika chuckled, scratching his neck.
"Mika!" Her glare sharpened.
"But come on...." He continued smoothly. "...who wouldn’t be? Charlotte’s gorgeous, charming, and busy as hell."
Yelena narrowed her eyes; her hands twitched as though she wanted to slap him. "You—!"
"But..." He added quickly, holding up a hand. "If that’s all it was, do you think I’d have done it there? On the sofa? In front of you?"
She froze, blinking. "Wait—what?"
He leaned closer, lowering his voice. "I could’ve taken her somewhere else if all I wanted was fun. I could’ve dragged her into a room, closed the door, and done whatever I wanted...But I didn’t. You know why?"
He didn’t give her a chance to answer. "Because I wanted you to notice me."
Her eyes went wide, a flush rushing to her cheeks. "You—You what?! Don’t tell me you’re one of those perverts who like when people watch, Mika?! A voyeur or whatever?!"
"No, that’s a exhibitionist, not a voyeur." Mika corrected her as he laughed softly before going on to say, "And don’t twist it like that, Yelena. I’m not some pervert who gets off on being watched."
"What I mean is, I just wanted your attention. Ever since I came back, you’ve been running from me. Avoiding me. You wouldn’t even look at me."
"I mean, you used to coddle me, remember? Hug me the moment I walked through the door, kiss me on the cheek, scold me for being gone so long...but now?"
He sighed, glancing toward the wall where photos of their little makeshift family hung, pictures of him, Charlotte, and Yelena smiling together.
"Now, you won’t even look me in the eye. You don’t talk to me. You flinch when I touch your hand. And honestly..."
He rubbed the back of his neck, lowering his gaze.
"It kinda hurt. It felt like I did something wrong, like you stopped liking me without even saying why."
The sincerity in his voice struck her like a dagger. Yelena’s chest tightened. She had assumed Mika wouldn’t even notice—that he’d just laugh it off and move on, but hearing him sound genuinely hurt made her guilt twist like a knife.
She stepped forward, her voice soft, trembling.
"N-No, Mika...No, you did nothing wrong. You never do anything wrong in my eyes. You’re my precious boy, nothing you do could make me hate you."
He lifted his gaze slightly, and she smiled, eyes filled with warmth and regret.
"It’s me. I’m the one who did something wrong. Something that made me feel guilty. That’s why I couldn’t look at you...So, don’t take it hard on yourself, please."
He studied her face carefully before letting out a long sigh.
"Good. I’m glad to hear that." He said, smiling faintly. "Because I thought I messed something up."
But behind that smile, his eyes gleamed with quiet amusement. He’d played her perfectly.
He went on causally saying, "And honestly I didn’t actually plan to take things that far with Charlotte. Honestly, I just wanted to tease you a bit, make you angry, get your attention again. I thought maybe if I pushed your buttons, you’d finally look at me. And it worked, you did barge in eventually."
"You—! So you wanted me to walk in on that?!" Her cheeks flushed bright red.
Mika scratched his cheek awkwardly. "Not exactly. I just...didn’t expect Charlotte to take it so far. That part wasn’t me. She was the one who went all in."
"So now you’re blaming my daughter?" Yelena’s eyes narrowed dangerously.
"I’m not blaming her." He chuckled. "I’m just saying she was...a little affected by her Venus Complex again. You know how it messes with her impulses."
That calmed Yelena a little. She exhaled slowly, nodding.
"Yeah. That explains it. That girl might be reckless, but she’d never...do something like that in front of me, of all people, unless she was completely overtaken. She loves me too much for that."
Mika nodded.
"Exactly. She feels awful about it, by the way. She’s been worrying nonstop that you hate her now. She even asked me to talk to you."
Yelena blinked. "She did?"
He nodded. "Yeah. She thinks you’re angry with her. She’s paranoid that you don’t love her anymore."
Yelena groaned, pressing her hand to her forehead.
"You two..." She let out a deep sigh and looked at him sternly. "Just why do both of you think I hate you?...Yes, what you did was wildly inappropriate, and frankly, I don’t ever want to think about it again."
Her cheeks went warm.
"But that doesn’t mean I hate either of you. You’re both my precious babies. There’s nothing, absolutely nothing, you could do that would ever make me stop loving you."
Mika grinned, feigning innocence. "So you do love me that much, huh?"
"Don’t you dare twist my words." Her eyes narrowed.
He chuckled, lifting his hands in surrender.
"I’m just saying, it sounds like you’re pretty obsessed with me, Yelena. I mean, you just said nothing I do could make you stop loving me. That’s...a little scary."
"You cheeky little brat." She gave him a glare that could have melted stone. "Always running your mouth around me even though I’m your mother."
Before he could react—she grabbed his cheeks between her fingers and pinched hard, tugging them outward.
"Ow, ow, okay! Okay! Mercy!"
He yelped, laughing even as she glared at him, before he caught her wrists mid-pinch, his laughter dying into a low breath as he looked her straight in the eye.
The sudden stillness in his grip made her blink, her breath catching as his teasing grin softened into something steadier, more focused.
"Alright, alright." He murmured, still holding her hands in place. "You’ve had your fun, but it’s my turn now."
She looked up at him, confused, and Mika leaned closer, his tone dropping to a low, playful murmur that brushed like silk against her ears.
"You know, I’ve already been pretty honest with you tonight. I said what I thought, what I felt. So I’m not going to ask why you’ve been acting so strange, or what this mysterious thing is that’s been eating at you. It’s obviously something you don’t want to talk about yet."
Yelena’s lips parted slightly, her pulse quickening under his touch.
"But..." Mika went on with a faint smirk. "I think I at least deserve one small truth, don’t I?"
She tilted her head, wary. "What...truth?"
He leaned in even closer, his voice dropping to a teasing whisper. "When I kissed Nadia earlier...you were jealous, weren’t you?"
Yelena’s entire body stiffened. "W-What?"
"You heard me." He said, smiling faintly. "Just answer honestly. Were you jealous?"
Her face burned, her heart pounding in her chest. She tried to look away, her eyes darting anywhere but his.
"Mika, that’s—! That’s ridiculous. Why would I—"
"Because..." He interrupted, his gaze soft but unwavering. "I could feel it. The way you froze up, the way you glared at me afterward...You don’t even have to say it, since it was so obvious. But I’d like to hear it from you anyway."
He smiled faintly.
"Just one truth, Yelena. That’s all I’m asking for."
Yelena hesitated, torn apart by the sincerity in his eyes.
He had laid everything bare earlier, his frustrations, his feelings, even his own mistakes, and she was the one still hiding behind excuses. It didn’t feel right anymore.
So, slowly, she lifted her gaze to meet his. Her voice trembled slightly as she spoke.
"Fine, Mika. Fine. You win, alright? I-I was jealous."
Mika’s eyebrows rose, amused and intrigued, as she went on in a flustered rush, her tone laced with both frustration and embarrassment.
"Yes, I was jealous when you kissed Nadia. I don’t even know why! In the past, I was fine with it—I even took pictures of you doing that kind of thing! I’d laugh and tease you for it! But now..."
She trailed off, her fingers tightening around his shirt.
"Now it just feels...different. It’s stupid, I know. Maybe it’s because you’ve grown up. Or maybe because I’ve become so deprived from your affection that I don’t want to share it anymore...I-I don’t even know what’s wrong with me."
Her cheeks flushed deeper as she looked away, muttering under her breath.
"There...Now that I’ve told you the ugly truth, you can laugh at me. Go on. Make fun of me. A woman my age, getting jealous like a schoolgirl, it’s pathetic and ugly."
Mika stared at her silently for a moment, the corners of his mouth twitching upward.
But instead of laughing like she thought he would, he suddenly stepped closer, sliding his arms around her waist. She gasped softly as he pulled her against him, one hand stroking her back with gentle, soothing motions.
"Yelena..." He murmured, his voice uncharacteristically tender. "...there’s nothing ugly about that."
Her eyes widened, startled by his tone, as he smiled, brushing his thumb along her cheek.
"Honestly, I think it’s adorable. You—jealous? The great Yelena, the woman who never backs down, the one everyone looks up to? Admitting she’s jealous because of me? You have no idea how...endearing that is."
"E-Endearing?" Her lips parted slightly.
"Of course." He said softly, his voice almost affectionate. "The same Yelena who’s proud, untouchable, always so composed, suddenly acting all flustered because of me? That’s ridiculously cute."
She glared at him faintly, but her heart was pounding too fast to protest properly.
"Honestly, seeing this side of you..." He chuckled. "I just want to kiss you all over. Your face, your forehead, your cheeks, everywhere. Because this version of you—the one who’s a little selfish, a little jealous, and completely honest, is the one I adore the most."
Her breath hitched as his words sank in. Somehow, he’d taken her shame and turned it into something warm, something that made her feel safe instead of judged.
Her chest swelled with a strange, happy ache, one that made her realize that no matter what she said, Mika would never twist it into something ugly.
Slowly, she smiled, her voice soft and timid as she muttered,
"I-If you really want to kiss me that badly...there’s no one stopping you, Mika."
He blinked, caught off guard for a second, before raising an eyebrow.
"Oh? That’s interesting. I thought you were the one who didn’t want any kisses. You’ve been pushing me away ever since I came back."
"Shut up, Mika!" She pouted, glaring lightly. "If I tell you to kiss me, then just kiss me already, okay? Stop arguing."
Her foot came down sharply on his toes, making him yelp in surprise.
"Ow! Okay, okay!...Bossy as ever."
He laughed, rubbing his foot before her smiled fondly, his teasing melting into warmth.
"Alright, alright...come here."
He tilted her chin up gently, his voice low and soft.
"Just don’t blame me later for spoiling you."
Before she could reply, he leaned down and began to pepper her face with tender kisses, on her forehead, her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks, her temple, each one filled with affection.
"Mmm!♡~ Mmm!♡~ Kiss!♡~ Mmm!♡~ Slurp!♡~"
Yelena let out a soft, surprised laugh, her pout dissolving into a bright, joyful smile. Her arms instinctively went around him, holding him close as he continued to shower her in gentle affection.
Her laughter echoed softly through the room, mixing with his quiet chuckles.
For that one moment, the world outside didn’t matter. There was no guilt, no awkwardness, just warmth.
Just Mika’s arms around her, and her heart feeling lighter than it had in years.